Weekly Interviews

Caleb:

Have you ever wondered how our weekly interviews got started? You were about 16 and we had a period of time where our interactions with each other were more negative than positive. One week I decided to measure total interactions, and record positive and negative interactions.

At the end of the week I saw what I already expected, a very depressing statistic that told me that our interactions were mostly negative with each other. I remember going to your mother and talking about this with her. Together we decided that I needed to make some changes to our relationship. Mom felt like her interactions with you were just fine.

I decided that I would create a formal agenda.  The next thing that I felt was important was that we meet each week. I committed to myself that I would not get after you on little things that happened during the week. Rather I would wait until the end of the week and we would discuss the positive and the negative happenings of each week in that interview.

I had heard that personal priesthood interviews were a great thing, but I decided that rather than have a personal priesthood interview, I would involve mom and we would have a time that was limited to just the three of us.

I learned a lot from this experience. First, I discovered that mom was a very bright lady. She has a lot of insight into how best to manage our relationship with you. Second, I learned that you didn't really like having those interviews, especially initially. I remember calling for the interview and watching you slump your shoulders as if to say, "Really?" As time passed however, I counted on the fact that our interviews would become something that you grew to except and maybe embrace.

I am not sure if you noticed, but over time and our interactions changed. There was a time of about three months into our interviews that I did the same analysis and found not one of our interactions that week but negative. For me, it was a one of the most important moments of my life. I was able to reset the nature of our relationship and have it be one that I was proud of. Furthermore I felt that you had grown to appreciate interviews and the fact that our interactions were positive. 

From that time forward I can count on one hand the negative interactions until you left on your mission. Most of them had to do with money which is still something that I think you need to work on. But, the exciting part of the story is that your teenage years were filled with mostly positive interactions between you, me, and mom.

As you start your own family, you will want to have the same experience that I had. Maybe you will want to avoid negative interactions altogether. I certainly am not advocating that the only thing that changed our relationship was the weekly interviews. But, I think they were essential in setting right our relationship. Thank you for allowing me to do this experiment on you. I now do it on all of the kids to varying degrees.

Have a great week and know that we love you.

Dad

Sent from somewhere really cool.